The Broken Writer

My mantra is not strong enough to fix this tumbling loop of broken down dreams. What was it I said, in the beginning? “The writer gives life to a story, the reader keeps it alive.”

Dear reader. Thank you for all that you have done, but I am a raging mess of emotion, numb and exhausted being smashed against life’s sharp edges. Its whirlpools and precipices flaying my creativity. I struggle to breathe, to find reason to claw my way back to the surface.

I need to take a break from writing. I am not well or skilled enough to juggle, stark reality with a dream as precious as Unbound Boxes Limping Gods. The writer is too exhausted to breathe life into these stories. I feel sorrow and remorse, but mostly want to sleep.

I will wake up one day, after the maelstrom has spat me out. I’ll look up and see a blurry angel, my muse, Alexand Merek. And just as she had done, when I was seventeen years old, she’ll whisper. “Come with me, sweetie.” I’ll take her hand and reply. “But you’re not real!” And she’ll say. “Of course I’m real. Do I look made up to you?”

Unbound Boxes Limping Gods will return after a break on Wednesday 1st September 2021 (Last issue Wednesday 23rd June) Please keep the stories alive by reading past issues. (Issue 1) or if you would like a challenge (Chronological stories) The broken writer can’t give life to a story, but the faithful reader can keep blowing on the ember, whilst she sleeps.

Confession

I have been slowly retreating from the world over the past few years. I wish that my life could somehow merge with the one I have created. Since my father’s death, I have a constant ticking in the back of my head, which Unbound Boxes seems to  make sense of.  The desolation caused by his absence, has been clothed by a disembodied presence, his immortal soul connecting along with the souls of each character. If I could leave a replica in my place, to function in this real world, and find some way of being a writer, a lawnmower woman, then I’d be able to meet my muse, the woman who has saved me, the woman who gives me hope.