apathy

Recently I have been fighting apathy and tiredness and although still able to illustrate stories, I haven’t written for months.

Emotionally drained

Days are very long but time seems like it is being fast forwarded. I promised I would put myself first this year, but being so drained I’m dispassionate and can’t break my way out of this perpetual state of sameness, and monotony. Sometimes I feel high, and then low and then apathetic again, but until I actually do something to make this stop, it will continue, until I’m incapable of producing anything worthwhile. I hate my life and want to get away from reality. It used to be enough, living it through my characters, but recently I need more than they’re giving.

Feeling a bit better today, but still quite apathetic. I need to take some time out to re assess what I’m going to do next year. I am going to continue the series, but may give myself more breaks. I need to rest, especially from drawing, and concentrate on what matters most. Writing. It’s coming up to the 20th Anniversary of my dad’s death, and to be honest I’m not feeling great, but will try to continue writing Unbound Boxes. I realise I’ve been writing this for 5 years without a break, which is actually a bit worrying. Anyway, I’m trying to force myself to feel better. Running away from reality is actually quite tiring and it’s very easy to give up. I’m trying not to give up.